My Second Press Conference

My Fellow Americans, and Citizens of the World,

The following is a transcript of the second press conference for my 2009 Cancer Kickin’ Campaign. I was hoping that, with McCain and Obama out of the way, this press conference would dominate the news circuits and “talking heads” last week but I think that only RONN (Really Obscure News Network) covered it.

Transcript follows… thanks for everything. Art

"Good evening,

Before we get started with the questions and answers, I will make a brief statement about my campaign’s progress. I’ve been training for the Country Music Half-Marathon and fund-raising since September. With both the race and the fundraising campaign coming to a close in less than six weeks, I am making my final pushes in both areas. So far, I have raised $6,364, which is about 43% of my goal of just over $14,600. So while I have a ways to go, people have been very generous once again. My web-site, where you can check on progress and make a donation, can be reached at:

http://pages.teamintraining.org/va/cmc09/aritter

Once again, my Team in Training (TNT) experience has been amazing, with colossal coaches, terrific teammates, marvelous mentors, superb staff (at LLS), and charitable contributors. So if you want to help me with my final push in my 2009 campaign, just go out to my web-site or contact me directly to donate by check. To all who have donated already, thank you so much! Now, let’s go to your questions. Yes, second row, left side…”

“Art, all along you have said that you will go the distance for us in 2009, yet you have switched to the half marathon. What’s up with that?”

“I am going the distance for you, and that distance is 13.1 miles. And I am trying my best to go the fund-raising distance to help the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society to make progress with their mission – a cure for blood cancers. That distance is by far more important than how far the race is. Yes, front row, pink dress…”

“Art, first you were walking, then you’re running, now you are doing both – sometimes one more than the other. Have you considered doing a fund-raiser at a waffle house?”

“Look, I was against running before I was for it – my record on this matter has been unequivocally ambiguous. And I know it may seem that by running some of the race and walking part of it, I am waffling. But I’m not. This is a well-established long distance race technique called the ‘Galloway Method’. Next question, third row, left-side, with the Louisville Cardinals baseball cap. By the way, the Cardinals are looking strong …”

“Art, when you kicked off your Cancer Kickin’ Campaign back in September, the economy was looking pretty bad. Now it is, in a word, dreadful. The news just gets worse and worse. How in the world can you raise $8,300 additional dollars in less than six weeks?”

“My friend, the economy is fundamentally sound, my friend. What? Can you please excuse me for a second?” Muffled whispering. “Oh, sorry, I just talked with my mentor, and she said that the economy is not fundamentally sound anymore. So that is actually a pretty good question, my friend. Look, I would never want anyone to donate to my campaign who is out of a job, or who is at financial risk. Anyone in that predicament should treat any material that they get from me as informational only, OK? But 90%+ of Americans still have jobs. And if you are one of those 90%, and you would like to donate to my campaign, your help, and your generosity, is welcome. Do you have a follow-up question?”

“Yes, thank you. But even given all of that, doesn’t your fund-raising goal of $14,645 seem outrageously high?”

“No! It is hard, but it is doable hard. I have met people at the events who have raised $20,000, $30,000, even over $50,000. So I am not giving up on attaining my goal. I deliberately set my goal high each time so I will keep working at it, keep plugging away. The horrible economy hasn’t helped but I am not giving up. Hey, President Obama raised $150 million in a single month! I am trying to raise just $1 for every $100,000 that he raised that month, spread out over 6 months. Oh, if I could only have access to his fundraising team for a few days! Yes, the lady in the red dress, right side…”

“Art, you’ve said before that cancer is not recessionary. Can you clarify this?”

“Certainly. Every time I answer two of your questions, someone in the USA is diagnosed with a blood cancer. That is one diagnosis every five minutes, and a death every ten minutes. That happens whether we are in boom economic times or in a slump. Cancer never gets laid off. It never gets furloughed. It never even takes a coffee break. So recession or not, cancer is going to happen. We need to remember that and try to raise money to combat it, even in these very difficult economic times. But if we keep making progress then some day, in our lifetime, cancer indeed will be out of a job. Yes, the guy in the maroon shirt and teal pants…”

“Art, if someone gets blood cancer every time you answer two questions, would it stop happening if you just didn’t answer any more questions?”

“No, that would not help. Next question, man in the seersucker suit…”

“We heard rumors about a new stimulus plan that you have developed. Can you fill us in on that?”

“Yes, the plan is quite simple. Make a donation to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society through my Cancer Kickin’ Campaign. In turn, this donation will stimulate the fight against blood cancers, help patients with cancer by delivering many different services, and provide advocacy for people affected by cancer. One donation – three different stimulus results. That is why I am calling it the ‘Triple Play Stimulus Plan.’ One thing it won’t do though – it won’t be used to give a $165,000,000 dollar bonus to anyone. This is LLS, not AIG! You can go to this spot on my blog to get an idea what your donation will accomplish:

http://racn4acure.blogspot.com/2009/03/what-your-donation-will-accomplish.html. OK, the lady in the green pants suit…”

“Art, at your first press conference, you had not yet named your running mate. Do you now have a running mate?”

“I have the best running mates I could ask for. Competing in the Country Music Marathon and Half-Marathon with me next month will be Kristi, Dave, Nicole, Paul, Tammy, Fred, and Maritza. One of them is a lymphoma survivor, and two of them lost a child to leukemia. We have spent hours training together over the past 4 months in all kinds of weather – mostly cold. We are all looking forward to more spring-like conditions in the days ahead. And we are looking forward to going the distance together in Nashville on April 25th. OK, last question – very back row…”

“Art , how has the training gone this time around?”

“It’s gone pretty well. I am a year older than the last time, which never helps. And running a lot of it has been challenging at times. I am running about 65% of the miles right now and hope to be at 75-80% by the time of the race. The cold weather and especially the early mornings – as early as 4:30 this year – can be tough. I often marvel that on Saturdays, we are completing 10 miles by the time many folks are just getting out of bed or having that second cup of coffee. But I have been injury-free to date – knock on wood – and certainly switching to the half marathon has helped with that. So I feel blessed and grateful to be strong and healthy enough to do this. The toughest training day I ever have is less difficult by far than the easiest day a cancer patient gets.”

“I have all of my training updates out on my blog:”

http://racn4acure.blogspot.com/

“OK, guys, thanks – I need to wrap this up. Remember to vote for Art Ritter in 2009 with a donation to LLS – I’ll go the distance for you!"