It’s Snot Funny!

Hello boys and girls, Doctor Ozone here, with another fascinating science lesson. This week’s topic is one near and dear to the hearts of cold-weather runners and walkers: mucous! Or as it is better manifested to us during workouts – a runny nose during cold weather.

I was reminded of this phenomena (as if I needed any reminder) during this morning’s five mile run in 30 degree (F) temperatures at 5AM. Let’s just say if I ran as easily, as continually, and as well as my nose does under those conditions, I would have finished my five miles this morning in about 20 minutes – and be on world record pace for both the half and full marathons. It has been that way for most of my training since around November, which more often than not has been in cold temperatures.

So what causes the cold-weather runner’s runny nose? Essentially, there are two factors, the first of which is the function of one’s nose to pre-warm cold air before it hits the lungs. This causes the capillaries lining the nose to expand in an attempt to pump more warm blood into the nose to warm the air. As part of this expansion, the blood vessels “leak” some liquid. The second cause is that much warmer air is being returned from the lungs to the relatively cold air in the nose and mouth. Warm air, as we well know, contains more moisture than can cold air, so the water vapor condenses when the warm, moist air from the lungs becomes cooled in the nose and mouth. The resulting water droplets have to go somewhere. Guess where they go?

So those of us who work out in cold weather need to accept this as the way it is but find creative ways of dealing with it. Dr. Ozone has come up with some suggestions, which I outline here, along with advantages and disadvantages. However, Dr. Ozone can not accept responsibility for the consequences of trying any of these.

Suggestion 1 – Stay indoors and sleep or read a book. Advantage: your nose won’t run at all and if it does, just grab a box of tissues. Plus you catch up on sleep and/or your reading. Disadvantage: marathon day is going to be a bear!

Suggestion 2 – Carry a large box of tissues while you run. Advantage: whenever your nose runs, you just pull a tissue out of the box. Disadvantage: it is cumbersome to run with a box of tissues. You might get arrested for littering. If it rains, you will be lugging a heavy, sodden, and unusable box of tissues.

Suggestion 3 – Carry a large box of tissues and a trash can while you run. Advantage: whenever your nose runs, you just pull a tissue out of the box, use it, and discard it in the trash can. Disadvantage: it is even more cumbersome to run with a box of tissues and a trash can. You won’t get arrested for littering, but if it rains, you will be lugging a heavy, sodden, and unusable box of tissues and an even heavier water-filled trash can.

Suggestion 4 – Carry a handkerchief while you run. Advantage: whenever your nose runs, you just pull the handkerchief out of your pocket. Plus this is a “green” solution – no trash. Disadvantage: Unless it is a short run, the handkerchief can get kind of nasty. It might get so nasty that you just toss it, then maybe another runner comes by in the dark and slips on it, taking a bad fall and breaking a hip. CSI is called in, and match the DNA on the handkerchief to you. You are arrested for littering and the injured runner sues you for everything you have. Your spouse and kids leave you, you lose your house, and you can’t even afford a box of tissues for the next time that you run in cold weather.

Suggestion 5 – Run with a kind of push-cart, sort of like a baby carriage. It has a place for a box of tissues and a trash can, and has a large umbrella to keep everything dry if it rains. And it has a compartment for snacks. Advantage: whenever your noses runs, you just pull a tissue out of the box, use it, and toss it in the trash can. Disadvantage: It is cumbersome to run pushing a cart along in front of you. And in the dark, you could run the cart into a tree, slamming the handles violently into your midsection. This ruptures your spleen and pancreas, and what starts out as a fun run turns into a really crummy day.

Suggestion 6 – Use your sleeve, or the back of your glove, or carry a few tissues in your pocket. Advantage: Minimal stuff to carry, low tech and easy to use. Disadvantage: Your coat or gloves can get pretty nasty. If it rains, the tissues in your pocket will get wet. Don’t forget to do the laundry before you wear that jacket again!

The bottom line for dealing with this situation is that all runners and walkers find a way that works best for them. But now you know some of the science behind why your legs aren’t the only thing running when it is cold. Pass the tissues, please.