Are You a Man or a Hamster?

For centuries, manly men all over the world have been asked the question: “Are you a man or a mouse?” Tonight, I was asked a similar question by the weather gods: “Are you a man or a hamster?” “A hamster,” I squeaked meekly as I stepped onto the treadmill.

Now, I’ve seen the weather reports from the Plains through the Great Lakes through the Northeast, and what we have had to deal with the last two days here in Central Virginia is minor by comparison. But I decided last night that I would not be getting up at 4:15 to do my 7 miles this morning. It was supposed to be 32 and raining. It is too risky to run in the dark when there might be ice. Instead, I would do the miles tonight after work, when weather forecasts called for scattered showers and 50's. I even skipped my carpool and went in early so I could leave early and get an early start on training. Weather.com, about a half hour before I left, said it was 57! “Wow,” thought I, “Training in mild temperatures and daylight for a change.”

After work, I stepped outside into a driving rainstorm, with temperatures in the low 40’s and a genuine wind chill. What the ….!!!??? 57??? By the time I walked to my car just five blocks away, I was completely soaked and very chilled. I drove home, and waited a half hour to see if the rain would slacken. It did a bit but was still coming steadily down. So I drove to our community fitness room and used the treadmill for seven miles, feeling a bit like a hamster on an exercise wheel and very wimpy.

Now, I know I should not be admitting this, especially not to the world. Manly men do not admit such weakness! In fact, I should be telling you, “Yeah, it was rough out there. Rain coming down in buckets! Gale force winds howling like a banshee! So cold that the polar bear at the zoo went indoors. But I soldiered on! I almost quit when I slipped on the cakes of ice as I leaped on them to cross the stream, and fell into the raging waters. I barely made it out alive, and my shoes were swept off. But then I thought, manly men don’t quit! I only have three miles to go, and only a couple of miles of it are in the snow over that path with the sharp rocks, so barefoot shouldn’t be so bad. I got a little worried – not scared, mind you, just worried – when that pack of wild dogs swept out of the woods and circled for the attack. But I growled and went into a defensive posture, and with one look at me (or maybe it was the smell of my running clothes?), they changed their minds and fled, yelping, into the night.”

That is what a manly man would have said, I am pretty sure. But not a hamster. And tonight, despite doing an entire marathon in a cold rain once in Alaska, and plenty of other hiking and training under pretty crappy conditions, I decided to be a hamster. I'll admit it!

It actually was kind of nice in a way. You can set a nice even pace on a treadmill. It gives your pace, miles, and the times exactly, making it easy to do my 8 minute walking (4.5 mph) and 7 minute running (5.7 mph) splits. And the running pace felt very easy, for a change. Outside, I don’t enjoy the running as much and get tired and out of breath. On the treadmill, it felt easy enough that I ran the last mile and a half. I did the whole seven miles, walking and running, in about 83 minutes. Not so bad – for a hamster! That is almost 30 seconds a mile faster than the last time I trained on a treadmill, which was only for 5K, or less than half of what I did today.

Less than 10 hours after finishing my workout, I will be getting up at 4:50AM tomorrow morning to do my 4 miles for Thursday. For that, I promise I will be a manly man, not a hamster!