Monday, May 9, 2011

A Note From Mother Nature

Dear Art,

How are you? Actually, as your Mother Nature, I already know that. I was just being polite. I am fine. Thanks for thinking of me on Mothers Day.

Now, what I want to know is: are you a moron? I created pain for a reason. When something hurts that is not supposed to, it is my warning to you to stop doing whatever is causing you the pain. What part of that don’t you understand?

So, you had this bad pain in your foot. Did you stop walking for a while? No! First, you did a six mile hike at the beach. I increased your pain to make sure you understood. But being stubborn, you still didn’t listen. You then took a seven mile walk in Washington, DC. By the end of that walk, I think you were beginning to understand, but it should not have taken you that long to figure that out. I gave you common sense for a reason. Use it!

I know you are worried whether you will be in shape for your 60 mile Komen walk if you don’t do a lot of walking now. But you still have 138 days until the walk, which is plenty of time, given your leg strength – unless you do something stupid to wreck your foot in the meantime. So, cool it! Get some rest. Use your brain to figure out when it is okay to start taking long walks again.

I know that I seem cruel, but I am just indifferent. After all, how can I pick sides? A lion in Africa either starves to death, or a zebra dies a terrible death so that the lion can feed. I can’t interfere in all of that. But nature has given your body the capacity to heal itself if given time and proper conditions. I just stay out of it. If you make bad decisions, there is nothing I can or will do to make the outcome easier, even as your Mother Nature.

So, hopefully you will learn from this. But if you don’t, I will send you another little lesson that perhaps you won’t ignore.

Mother Nature

PS: I was just being polite with that “love” stuff. I really am an indifferent mother. Sorry.

PSS: I was just being polite when I said “sorry,” because I am indifferent. Indifferent means never having to say you’re sorry.

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