Team in Training, A Cult? Really????

My friend Joe came over the other night, and cut right to the chase. "Holy crap, Art! You didn't tell me that you are involved in a cult!"

"A cult? Maybe I've taken stupid pills lately, but I have no earthly idea what you are talking about, Joe."

"Team in Training!"

I was incredulous. "Team in Training is a cult? Really?"

"Yeah, at least that is what I read on some of the running boards. Someone was asking about Team in Training. One guy wrote 'It's kind of cultish.' Another wrote 'It's a cult.' And a bunch of people wrote about what a scam it it."

"A cult? A scam? Really????"

"Well, yeah, that's what these guys say. Like on the race course, you guys chant strange things, like 'Go Team' over and over."

"Wow, Joe. Sounds like our cover is blown. Did anyone mention about our monthly ritual? The one where we dance naked at midnight in the woods on the night of a full moon, wearing only a purple headband? While we pay homage in Elvish runes to the Wicked Witch of the West while one of us slowly beats a drum made with the taut, tanned skin of a kinkajou? When we slaughter a young goat and smear its blood all over our bodies? And then - men and women together - we run naked and bloody all through the streets of Richmond while chanting unintelligible things?"

"No one mentioned any of that," Joe said, backing slowly away.

"That's because we are not a cult, Joe. We are just a bunch of people, like any one else, who like running and walking and cycling and swimming together while trying to raise money that will fight cancer. That's it. We are no more a cult than any other group of runners out together on a Saturday morning. Hey, Joe - want some coolaide? My friend, Jim Jones, mixed it up."

"Uh, no thanks, Art. Well speaking of fundraising, are you guys scamming people? One guy wrote this: 'The majority don't even do 26.2, just collect the pledge money and allow corporate suits to drive Lexus's.'

"Nope - we are not scamming people, Joe. Whoever made that comment has no idea what he is talking about. None whatsoever."

"Well, some people said you guys lie during fundraising, and put a lot of pressure on people."

"Yeah, Joe, that's right. I usually tell people to donate to LLS through me, or a puppy will die!"

"You're kidding, right? Well, it sounds like you guys don't really take what you are doing seriously. How about this comment that I saw: 'They do the absolute minimum to get by and then take an all expense paid trip paid for by charitable contributions?' Is that true?"

I was astonished. "That doesn't sound like Team in Training either, Joe. Everyone I know works their butt off, finishes their event, and is proud to do it. As to the expenses, yes, we get some of the trip expenses paid - a significant portion, actually - but it is not all expenses paid fancy resort vacation. I can see I am going to have to discuss this in a lot more detail on my blog."

"Well," said Joe, "I'll look forward to seeing more explanations refuting some of this stuff. Some runners out there hate you guys, and seem to think you ruin the race for everyone else, and are scams and cheats. Why, one guy even said 'Truck TNT!' Except, it wasn't 'truck' but a similar sounding word with one less letter and a first letter between E and G, exclusive, as I recall."

"Joe, all I can say is that there must a be a lot of misguided people out there. And there are always naysayers that want to crap all over everyone else. I'll read up on some of these comments, and then blog about it," I said.

"Good deal," said Joe. "Now, I don't want any of that coolaide, but I'd love an ice-cold beer if you have one."

"You know I do! Say, do you know if the moon is full tonight, Joe? And do you happen to have a goat?"