My Fellow Americans,
I address you tonight on a matter of critical national, and international, importance. No, I’m not talking about Brittany Spears’s most recent goings on, or even the latest Paris Hilton scandal. Of course, I in no way mean to diminish the great importance of what Brittany and Paris are up to, so please forgive me if I have offended any constituents.
But that’s not why I am coming to you tonight. The important matter that I wish to address is cancer, specifically blood cancers – leukemia, lymphoma, and myeloma. Did you realize that in about the same amount of time that it takes a typical politician to fill a large building with hot air – only ten minutes - two more Americans are diagnosed with and one American dies of a blood cancer? That’s over 114,000 people in the USA alone who will be diagnosed this year.
This is unacceptable, and I intend on doing something about it. Therefore, for the fourth time, I am throwing my hat – that’s my white Team in Training (TNT) race cap with the three “26.2” pins on it, of course – into the ring and getting out on the marathon campaign trail again. Yes, I’m signing up with Team in Training once more, this time for the Country Music Marathon, run next April in Nashville, Tennessee. You probably know that two of our most famous presidents are associated with that great state: Andrew “Old Hickory” Jackson and Andy “Saved by a Single Vote” Johnson. It will therefore be my great honor to set foot on Tennessee soil for this event.
What better place than in the Volunteer State to be a volunteer once more for TNT and the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (LLS)? You can get all of the details and make a donation if you so choose at my campaign headquarters webpage:
http://pages.teamintraining.org/va/cmc09/aritter
For the first time, I’m blogging about my TNT experience. My blog, which also has all of the information from my last campaign in Arizona, can be viewed at:
http://racn4acure.blogspot.com/
It takes a lot of money to cure cancer, and so again, I am setting my campaign goal high: $14,645. Why this number?
1 – one lucky guy, me, to be a lymphoma survivor and to be healthy enough to do this
4 – four of my family members in 2007 and 2008 diagnosed with various cancers
6 – six years in remission later this year from my bout with lymphoma in 2002
4 – my fourth marathon for the LLS
5 – the fifth time I have been involved in TNT, counting one time as a mentor
Unlike those fancy politicians crisscrossing the country in their big jets, I pledge to you that I will be doing my difficult campaign work on foot. I’ll take over a million steps and go through a couple of pairs of running shoes before I am done, but I’ll be out there with the common people, the “little people” as we big political types fondly call them. You won’t see me hobnobbing with the rich and famous at $10,000 a plate dinners – no siree! I pledge to you that I will account for every dollar and every donation, every penny of which will go to the LLS. Charity Navigator gives LLS a very high rating, by the way.
Now, I know that some are claiming that I am too old, and others are saying that I am too inexperienced, but I know that the American people are too intelligent to pay any attention to such negative and ridiculous statements! My campaign will be successful, but I can only be successful with YOUR support!
In a few weeks, I’ll have my first campaign press conference and will send out a transcript to you all.
So join my Cancer Kickin' Campaign by making a donation, and join me in making a difference for America and the world! Together, we'll team up to fight cancer, and someday, we'll have a cure. Thanks in advance for your support!
Art
(I’m Art Ritter, and I approved this message)
Art Ritter in ’09 – He’ll go the distance for you!
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