The Runners' Conversation

The other day, I poked a little fun at myself and other people of my age (and older) by writing a fictional conversation that “old people” might have. Today, I will poke more fun at myself and also other runners by writing about a runner’s conversation. When I was young, I used to get pretty tired of hearing older people dwell on their medical conditions. But now, I realize it is a pretty normal thing to do, and also that much younger people, like runners, can do the same thing at times. We runners can focus on our aches and pains at times to the exclusion of other things because frankly, they can get pretty crippling. And frustrating – since they inhibit us from doing what we want to do.

As with before, this is intended as humor only, is based on no real person’s words – including mine – and is not meant to show disrespect to any age, gender, or running style. Here is a fictional conversation of four runners: male runner 1 (MR1), female runner 1 (FR1), male runner 2 (MR2), and female runner 2 (FR2).

FR2: Hey, good to see you! Haven’t seen you in a few weeks.

MR1: Yeah, it’s been that plantar faciaitis. It’s been killing me lately!

MR2: I’ve heard that’s bad. Try rolling your foot on a frozen Dixie cup. I keep having IT (ileo-tibial) band pain off and on, and it is pretty painful.

FR2: Ouch! I had that last year, couldn’t run for months! It was agonizing.

FR1: I never had that, but I had that knee pain around my patella. I think that is similar. Boy that hurt! Brought me to my knees! It eventually got better, and I did exercises to strengthen my quads. That has helped.

MR1: Speaking of pain, I had bursitis in my hip last year. The only thing that helped was a cortisone shot, plus some physical therapy. Made me feel like I was 90 years old. I could barely hobble for a while. Hey, where’s Jill been lately?

FR2: Oh, she has a stress fracture in her foot and can’t run. She might even have to miss the race in two months. There is not much you can do about them but rest, I think. It would suck to miss that race because of it.

MR2: I thought I had a stress fracture a few years ago, but it turned out to be metatarsalgia. Pretty painful with every run for months. I finally had to rest for a while and get orthotics for my shoes.

FR1: Did you ever pull a hamstring? Talk about pain! I did that in school when I ran track. I thought my hammy would never get better!

FR2: Nope, but I tore a calf muscle once running in sand. That hurt like crazy. Hey, how is Bill’s Achilles injury doing?

MR1: Pretty bad, I hear. Every time he tries to run, he has to stop after 3 miles. It is agonizing. Man, running sure isn’t for wimps, is it?

FR1: Nope, but it sure beats the alternative – being a couch potato! Boy, my hams are really tight today, I need to stop and stretch out in a few minutes.

MR2: We’ll wait. I could use some stretching, too. I’ve been having some back spasms lately. Need to work on my core. I never take enough time for strengthening exercises.

FR2: I’ve had back spasms, too. I hate that! Plus when your muscles cramp up after a long run sometimes – that is so painful.

MR1: Listen to us! We sound like my parents!

The Old Peoples’ Conversation

This will be a two-parter, with the next part to be called “The Runners’ Conversation.” That will come in a day or so.

When I was a young guy, I used to get annoyed when I would visit my mom and my in-laws and they would seem to dominate conversations with all sorts of news about their health. They were fairly old – like about my age now or maybe somewhat older. Every conversation involved detailed health information – sometimes too much information – about either them or friends of theirs. Of course, time having passed by so quickly, I would love to have such a conversation with them now about any subject. By the way, if you are young and roll your eyes when the old folks talk about weird stuff, remember – you won’t have them around forever!

I don’t know when I will hit official old age – maybe age 65? No matter, because I guess I am old enough that I hear more and more conversations again involving health problems, some fairly graphic. In the interest of full disclosure, I am pretty sure that I have even been involved in such a conversation or two. So I have put together a hypothetical conversation between four old people, all fictional, and no offense meant to anyone of any age or gender. They are Old Male 1 (OM1), Old Female 1 (OF1), Old Male 2 (OM2), and Old Female 2 (OF2).

OM1: I’m going in for a colonoscopy next week. Kind of dreading it.

OF2: Oh my God! I had one last year and it was awful! You are going to be so sick. I wore a path between the bathroom and the living room the day before getting “prepped!” And I was really pooped the next day – no pun intended!

OM2: They aren’t so bad. But I sure hated it during my physical last week, when I got a “digital exam” from "Dr. Ben Dover!" They are so miserable. But he said my prostate feels pretty normal this time, unlike last year. He said I have the prostate of a 30 year old!

OF1: You men are such wimps! The stuff we have to go through, starting with pap smears, pelvic exams, and mammograms – not to mention childbirth. Men have it easy.

OM2: Oh yeah? I remember last year when I had that little prostate issue. The urologist had to take some biopsies with this thing traveling through an area that Mother Nature never intended for such explorations. “You might experience some slight discomfort,” he said. Slight discomfort? I was lying there and suddenly it felt like an enraged five pound ground squirrel was attacking me again and again in a very sensitive place!

OF2: Well, that’s couldn’t be as painful as my knees. Looks like I might need knee replacement surgery in a year or so. I can hardly do stairs any more, and am in constant pain.

OF1: Oh, don’t get your knees replaced! Remember when Mabel had that done three years ago? She can still hardly walk and is worse off than before.

OM1: Speaking of pain, I had a huge black mole that was shaped like a star fish removed from my back a few months ago. It hurt like the dickens for weeks! And it wept pus and gore for most of that time.

OF1: Oh for God’s sake, don’t remind me of that! It was so gross, and you were such a wimp about it. You screamed like a little girl! And it was just a little mole, no bigger than a pencil eraser.

OM1: It was more like the size of a pocket watch! The pain was awful. It was a lot worse than my knee pain.

OF2: Not worse than my knee pain. And certainly not as bad as my colonoscopy. Oh, you are going to feel so terrible. It is horrible. Don’t do it! I bet it is worse than colon cancer!

OM2: You know, I have to see a surgeon about this shoulder. Ever since I tore that rotator cuff, it just hasn’t been right, and it just isn’t healing by itself. I hate the thought of shoulder surgery. Man, old age isn’t for wimps, is it?

OF1: No, but it beats the alternative. But it is tough. Man, I had the worst cramping last week. I was in such pain that I thought I was going to throw up! Kind of felt like that time after I had surgery and they had to lay most of my insides on the operating table next to me while they stitched up that problem with my uterus.

OM1: Hey, who’s hungry? Let’s go eat!

Now, if you are a young runner shaking your head at all us older people – beware. My next post will be about the conversations that runners have, and you may see some surprising similarities. And since I am not just a semi-old person, but a runner as well, I guess I’ll be poking some fun at myself again!

I Ran Tonight – No, Seriously, I Did!

After my tongue-in-cheek account of Monday’s “training”, you probably wonder if I really ever do any serious working out between Team in Training events. And the answer is yes. Tonight, I ran / walked four miles after work, running 26 minutes and walking 20.

It was a crappy and frustrating day at work, and it felt good to pound out some miles. Any time I found myself thinking about work as I ran, which did happen a few times, I forced myself to think about something else. These included just being outside, running through the woods for a bit, and thinking about a short story I plan on writing. Plus I was running my favorite local four mile route, one I haven’t done as much lately. I haven’t wanted to run it in the dark every since I nearly ran nose first into that ginormous spider. So since it was still daylight, I took advantage of the light to go that way. This is my first time running more than two miles in about 10 days. And with rain moving in just hours after I finished, and looking like lots of rain in the next few days, I am really glad that I got out there.

Actually, I have had at least some exercise this week. Sunday, I took three separate short hikes for a total of 10 miles: beachcombing, a nature walk, and wandering through a wildlife refuge. Monday, I did eventually do an hour of water aerobics after blowing off my morning run. Yesterday, I did nearly an hour of weights and crunches.

So while I am not exactly going crazy as a fitness butt, and certainly not close to marathon or even half-marathon shape, I am not totally decrepit, either. I have a class reunion coming up in a few weeks and would like to look at least somewhat fit for that. So I need to keep that running going!

Analyzing Monday’s Workout

I thought it would be instructive to analyze the great workout I had yesterday. So I am breaking the whole thing down into time sequence.

The path my workout took began the night before, when I stated watching the Phillies – Rockies on TV just after 10:00. Gotta love the people who set these sports schedules – clearly they don’t live in the East. So starting Sunday night, here is the chronology of my Monday workout.

Sunday 10:10 PM – start watching the ballgame. Go Phillies!

Sometime between 10:40PM and 11:30PM – fall asleep in recliner. Give me a break, I had hiked 10 miles earlier that day on three separate hikes.

11:31PM – wake up and realize I’ve been sleeping

11:35PM, go to bed, vowing to get up and run in the morning

Monday 7:15AM – wake up, looks like a good morning for a run – very cool and cloudy. But I still feel sleepy. Need caffeine!

7:25AM - start drinking a cup of tea

7:45AM – decide that it is too late to go for a run, because we are driving up to LL Beans in Northern Virginia later. Have another cup of tea, work on the computer, and listen to music instead. Plus we are going for a hike on the way back from LL Beans, so who needs a run?

9:40AM – leave for LL Beans

11:55AM – arrive at Tyson’s Corner Mall and find a place to park.

1:30PM – leave LL Beans and being hungry, walk all over the place looking for a place to have lunch, eventually settling on Panera Bread

2:25PM – Wow, “Cake Love!” We’ve heard about that place on the Food Channel. Those cakes look great, and the sign says "Nothing sold here is fat free!" No kidding! Buy four cupcakes, two of which have a remaining life of about 60 minutes.

2:45PM – leave the mall to head out, deciding to go to the REI store instead of a hike. It’s not the greatest hiking weather and I’ve wanted to go to the REI store for a while.

2:46PM – grind to a halt in the famous Northern Virginia rush hour traffic.

3:30PM – arrive at REI. Two cupcakes are selected for sacrifice. Their gallantry will always be remembered.

4:00PM – leave REI and take a back way to I-95. Once on I-95, the traffic is amazingly light for any time of day, much less rush hour. Wonder briefly if a lethal virus has struck the country in the last half hour and wiped out 90% of the population.

5:55PM – arrive home

6:30PM – arrive for my one hour water aerobics class, my only workout of the day.

7:50PM - eat a nice plate of pasta for dinner. Have to replace all those carbs I burned, right?

8:45PM - Ice cream! We have ice cream! And not just any ice cream - Ben and Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk. No better way to top off a strenuous day!

Talk about the best laid plans. Moral of the story, which I sure I will ignore in the future: if you planned a run, and you get up in time to go for a run, go for a run!

People are so Generous!

So a couple of days ago, I sent out an email to my contacts to ask them to donate five dollars to my Light the Night Campaign. I had already raised $45, and hoped to get 31 five dollar donations to reach $200. I was specifically requesting donations from people who had not donated to my 2009 TNT Cancer Kickin’ Campaign.

Instead, I had 22 people donate about $470 in three days! Many of them donated 25, 50, or even 100 dollars, and many of them had already donated to my TNT campaign! But here they were, back making another donation. I really appreciate this generosity to such a good cause.

My LTN team is Faith’s Hope. Faith is a local woman who is currently battling stage-four Hodgkin lymphoma. She has done an amazing job at fund raising. Our team has raised over $7,300, is number one in fund-raising in Virginia, and is nearly $3,000 ahead of the second place team. If I sound like I am bragging, I am not. I had nothing to do with that. Faith, our team captain, has decided that she was going to use the occasion of her illness to make a difference, and she has personally raised over $5,500 of our team’s total! Therefore, she as an individual has out-raised every other team, by far! Go Faith!

Even though I am not going to go crazy with fundraising right now just months after ending Team in Training, it does feel good to have those donations coming in, and to see once more how generous people are in a down economy. I will be sending out one more note (for a total of two), and that will end my fundraising attempts for this year.

Thank You, TNT Nike Women’s Marathon Team

In a little more than a week, a bunch of you will be heading to the City by the Bay for an amazing experience. For some of you, it will be your first marathon or half-marathon. For others, maybe it will be your second, or third, or more. But for all of you, it will be the culmination of a lot of hard work, and act of making a difference in this world. And as a cancer survivor, I want to thank you for that. So for those of you on TNT Richmond, Team Virginia, or some other TNT group heading to the Nike Women’s Marathon next weekend, please accept my thanks and my gratitude.

It has been seven years for me now, since I was starting to head down the stretch during my chemotherapy. I guess that by October of 2002, you could consider that I was at about the 20 mile point of my cancer marathon, and was pretty sick and tired of it. But despite all that - maybe I had some denial, or maybe it is just a lack of common sense - all through chemo, I almost always had this expectation that things would turn out fine. It’s been since that time, reflecting on my experience and hearing the cases of so many people who didn’t have as much luck as I did, that I realize how tenuous and random surviving any type of cancer is. And that makes me realize how much work remains to develop cures that not only are very effective, but that don’t halfway kill the person who is going through them.

I bet this race will be a lot of fun. It is one that I hope to do for TNT before I hang up my running shoes some day. So I would love to hear comments back when you return home about what you thought. I will be thinking of you on the 18th as you run and walk all throughout a truly beautiful city.

When you start the race, and worry about how far you have to go – think of all those starting their battle with cancer that day, and how intimidating and frightening their race appears to them at the start.

When you are running up one of those steep hills that San Francisco is famous for – think about how those with cancer have to climb steep and difficult hills every day.

When you run past the Golden Gate Bridge – think of how the cancer experience bridges the patient from their pre-cancer life to life after cancer, often with continuing financial and medical difficulties.

If you are chugging along through one of the famous fogs of that area – think of the dense mental fogs that roll in during chemotherapy.

If the sun beats down on you with solar radiation as you run along – think of cancer patients dealing with the exhaustion and burns of radiation therapy.

If you have a tough five minute stretch when it seems difficult to keep going – think that during that time, one more American was just told “you have leukemia (or lymphoma, or multiple myeloma).”

When you are coming down the stretch and see the finish line, and break out into a huge smile – think of the cancer patients who never make it to the finish. And remember that your efforts, your fundraising, and your dedication will help more of them to reach that finish line in the future.

Thanks for doing what you have done! I hope you have a great time and a great race!

GO TEAM!

Gimme Five! for Light the Night

This is my first Light the Night fundraising note.

Hi everyone,

If you donated to my 2009 Cancer Kickin’ Campaign for the Country Music Half-Marathon in Nashville, then this note is just informational – no action is requested. Thanks again for your generous donation.

If you are currently out of work, then this note is just informational – no action is requested. I sincerely hope that you are employed soon.

But if you are not in one of these two groups, then I am asking you to Gimme 5!

1. Gimme 5 minutes of your time! On October 29, I’ll be walking two miles to light the night! Go to my Light the Night web page at:

http://pages.lightthenight.org/va/Richmond09/ARitter

There, you will learn more about The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and its Light the Light Program. In the four or five minutes that it takes you to review my web page, someone new is diagnosed with a blood cancer – so money for research and patient support is desperately needed.

2. Gimme 5 bucks! I am trying to raise a very modest $200 by doing this event, and so I am requesting a very modest five dollar donation to this great cause. I have already raised $45, and so if only 31 of you getting this note make a five dollar donation, then I will reach that goal – and you will have helped in the battle against cancer. Of course, larger or smaller donations are much appreciated, too!

3. Gimme 5 friends! Send this e-mail to five of your friends or colleagues and help me spread the word about what I am doing! Maybe they will want to make a donation as well, or maybe they know someone who has cancer and who will get some encouragement that people are out there making a difference.

4. Gimme 5 months since I ran the half-marathon in Nashville! During the five months that I’ve been taking it easy since the race, approximately 21,600 Americans have died from blood cancers.

5. Gimme 5 years since volunteering for LLS! This coming January marks five years since I went to a informational meeting for TNT and signed up to do the Midnight Sun Marathon. I am alive and healthy seven years after getting Hodgkin lymphoma only because of cancer research. When I was ill, I pledged to give something back once I was healthy again, and raising money for LLS is what I have been called to do. But I can’t do it without you.

6. Gimme 5 hundred thousand Americans who have contracted blood cancers in those five years! I’ve been incredibly fortunate to be a survivor! Help me help others with cancer to win their battles.

So Gimme Five! You’ll be helping so many others, and you will feel good about yourself all day! Thanks for the support, and thanks again if you donated to my Team in Training campaign earlier.

With humble gratitude,
Art

Two Things We Can All Agree On

At least, I hope we can.

I got an email from Lance Armstrong’s Livestrong Organization a couple of days ago. His assertion is that no matter what side, or sides, of the health care / health insurance debate – ever raucous and impolite – you are on, every American should be able to agree on the two following premises:

1. No American should be denied health insurance coverage because of pre-existing conditions.

2. No American should lose their insurance due to changes in health or employment.

As Lance asks: “Will you sign the LIVESTRONG Action petition to make sure any legislation includes these two critically important reforms? We’ll deliver these to Capitol Hill this month as the debate reaches its climax and make sure our voices are heard in the debate:"

http://www.livestrongaction.org/campaigns/healthcare

Lance Armstrong knows a lot about this first hand. Here is what he had to say about it: "When I received my diagnosis, I was between cycling contracts. My new insurer used the diagnosis as a reason to deny coverage after the new contract was signed. Fortunately, one of my sponsors intervened. At their insistence, I was added to their insurance company and was able to continue my life-saving treatment. If my sponsor, a powerful company, had not gone to bat for me, I may not have made it."

"I was lucky. We can't rely on luck to ensure coverage and treatment for the millions of Americans affected by cancer. Some cannot get coverage because they've already been diagnosed. Others get calls from their insurance companies saying they have been dropped. It happens all the time—and it's unacceptable."

I plan on signing this and passing it on to friends and family. I hope that you will as well. There is no way that we can all agree on everything. But maybe we can all agree on these two things, and make our voices heard.

Spectator at Livestrong Dolphin Challenge

During my short weekend at the beach, a nice surprise was a 5K and 10K race Saturday morning, that started and ended right outside our condo. It is the Second Annual Livestrong Dolphin Challenge, and 500 participants ran or walked in the races.The route went 1.55 or 3.1 miles up Sand Fiddler Road in Sandbridge, and then turned around and came back to the start.

I chatted with a few of the participants before the race, including a woman in a TNT shirt who has done about 6 events for the Team. And it turned out that TNT's famous Coach Bob was announcing the race at the start - finish point, so it was great to see him! I watched the first hour of the race, cheering on the participants, who were mostly having a great time. Definitely I need to recruit a few of my buddies and do this race next year - maybe a small team of us who are cancer survivors. The money raised goes to two great causes: Livestrong and Dolphin Rescue (VA Beach). Plus, nothing wrong with an early October weekend at the beach!

It did get me in the mood for running, because when I came home today, I went back to Echo Lake Park and alternating running and walking six 0.75 mile laps around the lake. So at least I proved I could run and walk more than 5K despite not doing much running since the half-marathon in Nashville.

I snapped a few photos of the event.

Being Livestrong, yellow was a dominant color. This was the pace car that led the pack.

The starting gate

The pack at the start of the race. The girls on the left in yellow were the entire field hockey team at a local high school.

Friday Flashes

Wow, TGIF! It’s been a busy week, and I’ve not had a lot of chances to write this week. For one thing, I’ve been watching the Ken Burns series on the National Parks every night since Sunday. Two hours of TV every night is a ton for me, and it takes time away from reading and writing. But it has been a very interesting series. All these things we take for granted in our society are there because they became important to someone, and they took it on and got it done. I’ve been to at least 15 of our magnificent national parks, maybe more, and it is fascinating to see some of the history and people behind their creation.

It was my sister’s birthday earlier this week – happy birthday, Sis! It is a birthday that she certainly wasn’t guaranteed when she came down with a very difficult form of breast cancer two and a half years ago. She had such a difficult time, and is still worn out a lot, but doing OK and is still in remission. With her type of cancer, that always needs to be watched. But as I wrote the other week, there is no point sitting around worrying your life away that you might get cancer again some day.

78 to one – how do you like those odds? We are moving to a new office building at my workplace this weekend, and although it is a nice facility in many ways, the men’s room on each floor is very small and has only one urinal. And there are 78 men (plus several dozen women) on my floor. This is going to get interesting, and I could write a very humorous post about it, although it might get me trouble at work, so I won’t. Even though I would not be blaming our management for it, management can be so touchy. People might be seen sleeping at their desks, because I think that coffee consumption will have to go down! I wrote a poem about the dearth of urinals, to be sung to the tune "Yellow Submarine" by the Beatles, but maybe I had better not post that here! If anyone is desperate to see it, you can email me.

I had lunch with my friend, Susan, the other day, and she was telling me about the great time she had at the Augusta half-iron man triathlon. She said that I should do it as my first tri. I’m like, uh, don’t you think I should do a shorter tri first, like an Olympic distance triathlon? Reminds me – I need to buy those goggles and try to improve my swimming!